Kufuor in Kenya’s Kitchen
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Nairobi, Kenya – Even as fighting has re-erupted in the once model African country, J.A. Kufuor, also known as the ‘Gentle Giant’ is preparing to land in Kenya to help negotiate a peaceful end to the political strife ruling the nation.
His plan is simple. Appeal to the most basic characteristics of the two political opponents behind the conflict.
“First, I will prepare nyama choma and ugali and serve them beer,” said the Gentle Giant. “Because I do not want one to feel like I prefer one above the other, I will put down their bowls in front of them at exactly the same time.”
Ghana’s president was graceful in his charcoal grey suit as he maneuvered around the kitchen. What he said next was nothing less than revelatory.
“Once they are done eating, we will sit to talk together. Being a giant, I can place both Odinga and Kibaki on my laps,” explained Mr. Kufuor. “I will rock them to sleep, and if they start bickering about elections, I’ll gently hit their mouths with my fingers as my grandmother used to do.”
He lifted his two fingers in the symbol of a peace sign to demonstrate. We asked him what was behind his innovative approach to this peace negotiating method. The Giant merely chuckled.
“Ah! But it’s simple. This is how you treat children.”
It is rumored that President Bush is considering using the same tactics to get a peace treaty signed in the Middle East this week.
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