Gas Shortages Make the East Coast Feel More Like Home
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New York, Atlanta, Maryland & all the other cities where Africans tend to throng – Blowing off the coast of West Africa with the force of a fat Hausa man’s fart, hurricane Ike brought havoc and destruction to many of the refineries located in the US’ southwest coast. This has led to massive shortages of petrol at gas stations all over the east coast.
Particularly hard hit are urban areas where many Africans tend to migrate. Surprisingly, many Africans are taking the shortage crisis with a lot more ease than their native counterparts.
“It’s been pandemonium,” says Sandra Mugira, a 26 year-old mother of 5 from Uganda. “These white people have been honking their horns, screaming ‘F**ing A!!!’ and flipping middle fingers to each other while waiting in gas lines.”
Mrs. Mugira said she was “shocked” that something as small as a petrol shortage could incite such rage. She described a particularly disturbing scene where an 80 year-old man, crippled from arthritis, mustered the strength to moon a car full of teenagers for cutting him off at the pump.
“In my country, we only get petrol on Fridays, when the president passes through town to visit his country estate.”
Precious Nkwolo, a Nigerian anthropologist is far less surprised, and certainly more amused than Mrs. Mugira. He has written a profound dissertation on the topic: “White People, One Tornado Away from the Cave Ages”.
“Ike has proven that underneath all their fancy talk and khaki Dockers, ‘Mr. Smith’ and his clan are just as bush as we are.”
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