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Bush: We Will Not Bomb Darfur

Published: January 14, 2008
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Somewhere in Israel – A teary eyed, Yarmulke wearing President Bush toured Israel’s Holocaust memorial last week. Visibly emotional, the US president made a reflective remark in regard his nation’s inaction to help bring an end to the Nazi terror regime. 

“We should have bombed Auschwitz,” concluded Mr. Bush.  “Condi, why didn’t we bomb it?”

‘Condi’, or Condoleezza Rice dutifully explained Lyndon Johnson’s decision not to bomb the train tracks leading to Auschwitz, stating that the decision on inaction was far more complex then it appeared on the surface. The president did not seem convinced.

“We should have bombed it,” he said it more certainty.

Our journalists just happened to be aboard Air Force One, and witnessed to this touching display of remorse. We asked Mr. Bush if he would consider bombing Darfur, you know, to stop the genocide there.

“Darfur?” asked the president. “Where’s that?”

Condi whispered something in his ear and pulled out a small world map.

“Do they have Jews over there in Darfur?” he asked.

She shook her head no.

“Oh. Any oil?”

No again.

“WMDs (weapons of mass destruction)?”

No.

He stared at our team blankly.

The president then served the crew yellow cake, latkes , beer and asked about cattle prices in Montana.

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