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Obama lands in Ghana: Fast Facts

Last night, Ghanaians rich and poor, young and old were united in one cause: To witness Barack Obama arrive at Kotoka. Villagers in Ghana huddled by their communal TV sets and the very posh sat in their air conditioned halls to witness history.

Captured Pirate “Very happy to be here”

Musi, as it turns out, is a pirate by day, and a rapper by night. He raps about money, prison and b*tches, but has found it hard to prove himself “street credible” since he has never been to prison. “Life in an American federal prison will make my message far more marketable,” explains Musi. “There are plenty of b*tches in prison.”

Pirates: We Will Not Stop Until Chuck Norris Comes In

Chuck Norris, who is the most famous “blow man” in Africa, is a symbol of strength, courage, triumph and patriotism. Like Kenny Rogers, he is one of the most respected white men in Africa. Anyone who can overcome his martial arts skills and military prowess will go down in history as a true hero. At least, that’s the way the pirates see it.

Africans Becoming Impatient with Obama Administration

Africans all across the continent are becoming increasingly discontent with the progress that the Obama administration in making in solving their political, social and sexual woes.

Africans Becoming Impatient with Obama Administration

Published: February 02, 2009
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The continent – Africans all across the continent are becoming increasingly discontent with the progress that the Obama administration in making in solving their political, social and sexual woes.

A poll conducted last week revealed that there is concern that president Obama’s ascent to the throne of the American presidency has not resulted in an immediate eradication of all the ills that plague the continent.

Nkem Chukwu sells boiled corn for a living.

“My husband is not a better man to me,” she explains. “I thought that once Barack became the king of America, he would follow his example and begin to treat me more nicely.” She plucked hot corn from her black cauldron as she spoke.

“He has rather become worse. When we have sex, he just jumps on top of me like a roster and does ‘in and out’. I try to encourage him to imagine how Obama makes love to Michelle and also do me some.” She clicked her tongue in misery.  “He told me that gods don’t have sex, and I should not disrespect the First Couple by comparing us to them.”

Many Africans have a saying that “America is seven miles away from heaven”, and believe that it only stands to reason that president Obama would have daily conversations with God on their behalf.

“Yes. Barack is on the American throne,” says Chukwu. “As a son of Africa, he should be more concerned about his people.”

In war ravaged Sudan, Liberia, Chad, Congo, Somalia and Ethiopia, the feeling is much the same.  Survivors of conflicts in these countries are impatient to see Obama make good on his promises of hope and change.

“We have given him ample time to make the change we all supported during his campaign,” says a 9 year old child soldier. “I think 2 weeks is quite enough.”

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