Pray For Leaders to Die – Devout Citizens
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Madagascar – 200 African religious heads and civilians have convened on the country of Madagascar to pray for the death of several of the continent’s corrupt leaders. Dissatisfied with international reaction and failed diplomatic processes to solve their woes, they have turned to the Author and Finisher of life: God.
“In a case like Robert Mugabe’s, he has clearly stated that the only person who can remove him from office is God,” said a deacon from Malawi. “We are therefore appealing to the Almighty to kill him as soon as possible.”
When asked why they choose Madagascar to assemble the prayer coalition, the devout attendants said “it was geographically closer to most of the violence taking place on the continent”. Everyone knows that God works faster when you’re closer to the object of desire. There is also the added benefit that most African countries lack the resources to send law enforcement from the respective countries of these devoted to have them arrested. Few fear that any of the presidents on “God’s Hit List” will come looking for them.
“They are lazy and cheap,” says William Tembo from South Africa. “They will merely wait for us to come home; and we will not leave these shores until every tyrant and dictator has died from some painful and humiliating disease.”
Mr. Tembo is personally hoping that Umar Hassan Ahmad al-Bashir, Sudan’s president, dies of scrotal cancer. He has vowed to fast and pray, night and day, until he receives the good news.
We have no word yet from God as to whether He intends to strike any leaders’ balls…with fire.
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