West Africa’s Next Top Model – Coming Spring 2009
Monrovia – I guess you get what you asked for. As one of the only houses in my previously posh Monrovia neighborhood that has satellite TV, I have ravenously watched every episode of Top Model in production. America, Australia and Britain all have Top Model shows and I asked myself wistfully “When will Africa have her chance to showcase her beautiful ones?”
That day my brethren, has finally come.
When I heard the news West Africa’s Next Top Model has already gone into production, I was ecstatic! The producers will scout models from Cote d’Ivoire, Ghana, Sierra Leone, Senegal, Liberia and Nigeria for the reality series. Each of these countries has its own share of national tragedy and triumph, so I am sure that the contestants will have interesting and sordid backgrounds, suitable enough for reality TV. However after reading the requirements for the show, I can foresee that there will be some drama that I’m not sure the West is ready to deal with.
Who can audition: Applicants must be of West African origin, should be between the ages of 18 and 25, and should be available to travel and reside in Lagos, Nigeria and other destinations on the continent of Africa and the world between the 1st of March and 1st of June, 2009.
Eish! Here is the first problem: How are you going to prove the ages of most of these ladies? Hello?!? Liberia and Sierra Leone just had two wars! Birth certificates were probably used to start a rebel fire somewhere. How are you going to prove this young lovely in front of you is actually 18? Most West Africans look a fifth of their age, due to malnutrition. So sad… On the bright side, I have utter confidence that the Nigerian contestant will have all of her paperwork in order, fresh from the printer at Femi’s ‘Emportant’ Document Enterprises Xpress (FedEx).
Then, they want these poor girls to travel to Lagos, one of the most violent cities in Africa. How do you expect these models to snap a couture shot after witnessing a robbery? Ahhh! I get it! You want real emotion, like Tyra always says. Got it.
As for this one, I don’t know why the producers were not educated on the topic of visas. Hmmm, fair enough, you can bribe an official to let you into Morocco to have your photo shoot on the roof tops of Marrakech, but getting a visa to go to common London, for example, can take years. And you want them to be ready to travel anywhere in the world? The models’ best bet would be to visit Femi and get a South African passport printed for them asap…but that would defeat the purpose behind the show, wouldn’t it?
Finally, I will bet my water tank that someone will be eliminated because a close family member will be wanted at a Hague tribunal for sponsoring war or embezzling funds from one of these countries. Top Model Africa is not for common girls. It’s for vacuous ministers’ and presidents’ daughters who have otherwise no ambition or aim in life. Many are doomed to fail hard and fast, and I will savor each moment as the alcoholic does every sip of rum.
By A. Jackson
0 comments so far...
Leave a comment
Use the form below to add comments, suggestions, and the inevitable off-topic banter (please keep to a minimum). Be aware that we reserve the right to edit any raw language or banter that's too far off topic.
