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Published: January 17, 2008
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Ivory Coast – Africa has a huge problem. Its people are walking, building muscle, and consume tremendous amounts of water.

“People are generally fit in Africa,” explains Amir Amwadou, a senior health researcher on the continent.  “A pure sign of a progressive populace is one that is obese…or at least really overweight.”

He was referring directly to the obesity epidemic taking place in the US and UK, where incomes, health services and public amenities generally outpace those of most African nations.  As a premier anthropologist, his suggestion is that African nations focus on sitting around as much as possible, and consume as much high fat as their sinewy bodies will allow.

“This has become a real issue on the continent,” he bemoans. “The average 12 year old child can walk 5 – 10 miles per day without fatigue. Women are able to hoist mighty weights on their heads and trek half the day through the city or country-side. It’s totally bizarre, and quite frankly, really almost alarming.”

According to Mr. Amwadou, South Africa would be the ideal place to begin implementing a “fattening program.”

“There are already great infrastructure, crime, and a Caucasian populace in place,” he explains. “It would only make sense. Evolution says they’re next on the list anyway!”

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