Chantal Biya’s Wig/weave Demands Compensation, Recognition
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La Baule, France – This week, Cameroonian president Paul Biya and his wife Chantal faced criticism for taking a lavish vacation on the west coast of France, racking up daily bills of $35,000. Even in the face of such criticism, Issa Bakary, Cameroon’s information minister defended the vacation as a right, which the president could “exercise wherever he wishes to do so, with the means put at his disposal by the sovereign people, by the electors, to clothe himself, for his accommodation, for his feeding, for his health care, to provide his needs.”
Chantal Biya’s hair
Part of that health care extends to maintenance wife’s ultra-glam wig/weave, or ‘Wigeave’ as it likes to be referred to. Yes folks, Chantal Biya’s hair is a separate living entity, and it wants a little recognition and respect from Cameroon’s first lady. We sat down with Wigeave to get its side of the story. Please note that Wigeave has a flamboyant French accent and no determinable sex. It made the conducting of this interview somewhat difficult.
MB: First of all, why do you call yourself ‘wigeave’? You are either a wig or a weave, aren’t you?
WW: I like to take the Tiger Woods approach in defining myself. He’s is not just black, Caucasian or Asian, but ‘caublanasion’. Like Mrs Biya herself, I am a hybrid…a mixture of two different elements.
MB: Why should Chantal and her entourage recognize you? Why should she give you compensation? Is Mrs Biya herself not responsible for carrying you around daily?
WW: Without me Chantal would be nothing! Look at me! I’m fiery, feisty red, and larger than life. Who is she without me but another half-caste African girl? I alone am responsible for her celebrity.
MB: Let’s shift gears and talk about you for a second. If you weren’t keeping Chantal’s head warm on those cool African nights, what would you be doing?
WW: Well, no one has ever asked me about my humanitarian ambitions before. Well…I guess I’d like to travel the world, you know? Outside of the glitzy hotels and white sand beaches. Get real down and dirty. Perhaps lend myself to keep Sherpas warm in the Himalayas or be used as stuffing in sleeping bags for weary soldiers. I’d like to do some real good in this world before I end of in the recycling bin.
We wanted to ask Wigeave a few more questions, but the enchanted being had to run off to meet with Chantal.
“We’re going sailing today,” said Wigeave. “If I don’t use my weight to anchor her, she’ll fly right off the boat.”
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