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LIFESTYLE

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Poll: White Guys Want to Feel Like on Safari When Dating Black Women

“There’s just something about capturing a strong, dark woman coarse hair and making her love you,” said one study participant. “I tell you man, it’s like bringing down a bull elephant with your bare hands. They're so…feisty!”

Health Watch: Fitness Epidemic Plaguing Africa

“People are generally fit in Africa,” explains Amir Amwadou, a senior health researcher on the continent. “A pure sign of a progressive populace is one that is morbidly obese…or at least really overweight.”

Assimilation Proves Difficult Over the Holidays

What is the reason? Probably the same one for which the average Gambian uses the dishwasher as a drying rack. Africans just have a problem adjusting to Western norms and technology.

A Nigerian in London

I became foolish - I remember one night I spent over a 1000 pounds on just champagne at the club and had no money for petrol so I walked home.

What Makes You an African?

A probing investigation into the traits that unite us as a continent and a people.

L’Oreal: Lip Plumping Gloss Based with Lead, Study Finds

L’Oreal would only comment to say that a little lead has never hurt any African. They stand by their product, declaring that it is not misleading and delivers exactly what is on the label: To dramatically transform your...

African Fathers in the Diaspora Succumb to Western Fathering Methods

Glevo and Ogbeni talk of how their own children routinely take food from their plates, urinate on their clothing, and never allow them to change the channel on television from Disney.

Africa’s Sexiness has its Roots in Liberia

"If she doesn't want to have children, that's fine. I mean, she is Oprah Winfrey after all, and she can do whatever she wants. I would be more than willing to carry her offspring for her, in the artificial womb we could have implanted into my body. Her immense wealth could accommodate for that. That's called selflessness. And it's a Liberian quality. And it's totally sexy."



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Chantal Biya’s Wig/weave Demands Compensation, Recognition


Without me Chantal would be nothing! Look at me! I’m fiery, feisty red, and larger than life. Who is she without me but another half-caste African girl? I alone am responsible for her celebrity.

Obama Inauguration to Have Y2K Effect

Barack Obama will be the most magical and mystical president the world has ever seen. He will usher in an unseen era...just like Y2K did 9 years ago!

Mugabe Starts Greeting Card Line

The oppressive dictator shows a softer side with his “sarcastic but sweet” greeting cards.

Fufu Joins List of Sexy Foods

Like strawberries and cream or raw oysters, fufu has joined the world of sexy food dishes in 2008.

Only in Africa Can Total Losers Become Celebrated Winners

Africa, like America (in same cases) has a long history of rewarding those who excel in mediocrity. To foster that same spirit, the NFL (National Football League) has begun donating the t-shirts and caps of the loosing team to impoverished African countries, following the Super Bowl.

L’Oreal: Lip Plumping Gloss Based with Lead, Study Finds

L’Oreal would only comment to say that a little lead has never hurt any African. They stand by their product, declaring that it is not misleading and delivers exactly what is on the label: To dramatically transform your...

Enugu to Abuja flight

An illiterate woman boarded a plane from Enugu to Abuja in Nigeria. She was booked for an economy class seat.

60% of All Africans will be Lesbians by 2015

African women have begun turning to their local T.ITS to get relationship satisfaction through the "I prefer breasts campaign."

Ahoy! Abortion Ships on the Horizon!

As we know, 50% of all African children will die of AIDS, 80% of all African boys will become child soldiers, and 60% of all African girls will become sex slaves. If we can get to these kids in the womb, before they become part of the problem, we can save the continent a lot of heartache.

Gambian Woman Refuses to let Son Participate in Halloween

“I did not bring him to abroad to dress in costumes and beg white people for toffee.”

Sudan man forced to ‘marry’ goat

Goat-love. There are some things even we could not make up.

Ghanaians Unwittingly Swimming in Raw Sewage

I will only go back to Labadi beach if I die and return to the earth as a turd.

Let Us Help You: J.J.C.

JJCs have usually been in their host country for 2 months or less. They are often confused, wanting to assimilate and blend in as mush as possible, while trying to hold on to the things that have defined them to this point.

Liberians: Rice is No Longer En Vogue

This week, MaizeBreak caught wind of a story circulating on the BBC that Liberians have stopped eating rice. How could this be?

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