Chris Brown has Relationship Training in Ghana
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Accra – In Africa, women get special treatment. Two year old toddlers are raped in the South with the hopes of transferring AIDS from the elderly man into her tiny body. In the East, thirteen year old victims of gang rape are condemned to death by stoning for getting raped . In the West, a man will serve 15 years for smoking Indian Hemp and another will be fined ¢200 for beating his wife to a bloody pulp.
Artist Chris Brown
And then we heard the news this week that Chris Brown threatened to kill Rihanna. Ah?!? Chris Brown? The maker of the hit song ‘Kiss, Kiss’? Doubting the validity of this charge, we sent our investigative team, the MaizeBreak Stalk-ers out to gather the truth. What they found will astound you.
Not only had Brown (allegedly) beat up Rihanna as reported, but he came to Ghana this February for a course in African Romantics. Chris Brown may have learned how to dance from Michael Jackson, but it was in Ghana that he was schooled in the ways of how to treat a Black woman.
The Stalk-er team discovered that Brown returned from the motherland full of renewed enthusiasm for his work, and went right to work in the studio to begin working on a song called ‘Slap, Slap’. He shared with Rihanna that he could not decide between ‘Slap, Slap’ or ‘Choke, Choke’ for the title, and after she informed him that both were stupid, he got out of the car and slapped and choked her.
Chris Brown’s antics are the most recent in a heritage of violence towards women from our greatest icons in the music industry, spanning form the early 90’s to today. Allegedly, Brown was hoping to get in on the Greatest Hits album featuring classics such as:
Akon – Smack Dat
Dr Dre – B*tches Ain’t Sh*t
Jay-Z – I got 99 problems (And a b*tch ain’t one of them)
Ying Yang Twins – Beat the p*ssy down
*Chris Brown – Slap, Slap
The album will be rounded up with two “apology tracks”, You are my African Queen, by 2Face and Forgive and Forget, by Talal Fatal.
