Breast Milk was the Deal Breaker: Malawi Courts
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Malawi – Aging pop star Madonna went home empty handed this week after a bid to adopt a second child from the impoverished nation of Malawi failed. Critics have said that she had tried to use her wealth and fame to fast track the adoption process of a 3 year old girl, and have praised the judge in the case for upholding Malawi’s law.
Madonna with her prospective Malawian adopted child
However, a source close to the case has disclosed that this has nothing to do with the law. Madonna was denied simply because her breast can no longer produce milk. We can’t disclose our source’s name, so we’ll have to refer to him as “Our Source”.
“The courts looked at Madonna’s request differently this time,” said Our Source. “When she came to adopt David (Banda) last year, it was a different time. There was no standard to measure her by.”
That “standard” turned out to be the breast feeding campaign initiated by Salma Hayek in Sierra Leone earlier this year.
“When Madonna came to Malawi, she was only coming to take away a child,” explains Our Source. “Salma, on the other hand, filled a baby’s belly with her sweet Mexican milk and left the boy with his mother. She’s a giver.”
Apparently, Madonna was asked to at least pump some milk to prove that she was as giving in spirit as Ms. Hayek, but the pop icon either couldn’t or wouldn’t comply. The judge presiding over the case swiftly denied her adoption appeal saying “I won’t be satisfied until I see a small boy’s eyes open with wonder and delight after suckling at your breast!”
The ex-Mrs. Richie left on the next available flight.
Malawi’s lawyers have begun to caution would-be adoptive parents not to expect to hastily adopt anymore “brown, exotic babies” without proof that they can feed those children with sweet foreign breast milk upon government request.
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