Mugabe Supports China’s Right to Poison Citizens
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President Mugabe today lashed out against what he called “the West’s arrogant interference into sovereign nations’ rule”.
“If the Chinese government wishes to sicken their youth, then that’s their business!” he railed at a UN conference this week.
His speech was broadcast via the internet, as he has been barred from international travel.
Ordinary Chinese citizens have faced recurring food scandals in recent years— vegetables with harmful pesticide residue, fish tainted with a cancer-causing chemical, eggs colored with industrial dye, fake liquor causing blindness or death, holiday pastries with bacteria-laden filling.
In mid 2005, the Zimbabwean despot launched “Operation Drive out Trash” where he demolished hundreds of homes considered an “eyesore”. By Christmas this year, he will embark on “Operation Infant/Toddler Reduction”.
“The country,” he said, “is ready for robust changes.”
Mr. Mugabe plans to carry out his scheme by importing milk powder and other dairy-based products from China at a reduced cost and selling them exclusively in local markets. His cabinet has advised that a reduction in the the underage population will correlate to a reduction in inflation. The less people living to spend money, the less money will be needed for print and circulation.
“Inflation must be reduced at any cost!”
To his country men, he offered these early holiday wishes.
“Feliz Navidad, b*tches.”
He then turned his attention back to the makeshift altar constructed in Parliament, where he worships Satan.
