Ewe Scientist Unveils New Technology
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Hohoe District, Ghana - Nnatubeugo Abgevo Tonyenka, commonly known in the scientific community as “N.A.T.”, has recently discovered a technical spectrum not previously known in the world of soft sciences. He has fondly dubbed it as “Ayibge Technology”, in honor of the Volta region from which his ancestors hail.
“Ayibge Technology is the process of using force to create greater force in day to day tasks,” the scientist explains. “It is more about the use of knowledge, rather than physical apparatus.”
To demonstrate the intriguing technology, N.A.T. called upon his trusty lab rat, a small boy simply known as “Emeka”.
“Heh! Emeka,” he exclaimed. “Come and sweep this floor!”
Despite the irritating cadence and harsh inflection in N.A.T.’s voice, Emeka did not move. This, according to the theoretical physicist was to be expected. He then pulled an egg from a nearby table and threw it on the floor.
“I say sweep the floor!” he cried.
Amazingly, Emeka began to not only sweep, but mop the floor as well. We asked what was behind the science of the pulverized egg. How did it produce such swift obedience?
“Well,” said Mr. Tonyenka, “some people may be tempted to call in juju, but I believe otherwise. The cracking of an egg, sprinkling of goat blood, or the burying of a live fowl to get the subject to do what you want has less to do with “black magic” and more to do with empirical philosophy.”
It is N.A.T.’s hope that Ayigbe technology will be used widely throughout the sub-Saharan region, and possibly make its way into troubled Western regions, like France.
“Instead of using so-called diplomacy, the French government could use this technology to rein in its disruptive immigrant Algerian youth,” he suggests. “You go and sprinkle a healthy dose of blood and feathers on an immigrant’s door step and see if they worry the town any more.”
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