‘Conficker’ has unintended, positive results for Zim
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Harare – The dreaded ‘Conficker’ computer worm has had some unintended consequences for Zimbabwe’s bleak economy. The southern African nation with a 231,000000% inflation (as of January) posted a massive rally on it’s stock markets when the bug hit its government databases this morning. Zimbabwe’s GDP has grown by 231,000000% in a matter of hours, making instant trillionaires out of the entire population overnight.
‘Conficker’ (whose real name is Confucker, according to our tech dudes) has had no effect elsewhere on the globe, despite all the hype concerning the havoc it could potentially leash on the world’s major financial markets.
Analysts say that it only makes sense that Zimbabwe would be the only country affected.
“Zimbabwe’s banking system is still running on DOS,” Rick Wambugu, head of Stanbic’s technical department, says. “It has no built in protections to fight off any worms, and I’m fairly certain that Confi/ucker was confused when it encountered the DOS operating system.”
President Mugabe, for his part, is elated. He can say that for once in his 102 years of ruling the country, the entire populace enjoyed prosperity for a day.
There has been no consideration of what the mental and moral effects will be when every Zimbabwean wakes up in abject poverty on April 2nd .
