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REGIONAL

Captured Pirate “Very happy to be here”

Musi, as it turns out, is a pirate by day, and a rapper by night. He raps about money, prison and b*tches, but has found it hard to prove himself “street credible” since he has never been to prison. “Life in an American federal prison will make my message far more marketable,” explains Musi. “There are plenty of b*tches in prison.”

REGIONAL

Pirates: We Will Not Stop Until Chuck Norris Comes In

Chuck Norris, who is the most famous “blow man” in Africa, is a symbol of strength, courage, triumph and patriotism. Like Kenny Rogers, he is one of the most respected white men in Africa. Anyone who can overcome his martial arts skills and military prowess will go down in history as a true hero. At least, that’s the way the pirates see it.

BUSINESS

‘Conficker’ has unintended, positive results for Zim

The southern African nation with a 231,000000% inflation (as of January) posted a massive rally on it’s stock markets when the bug hit its government databases this morning. Zimbabwe’s GDP has grown by 231,000000% in a matter of hours, making instant trillionaires out of the entire population overnight.

ENTERTAINMENT

SA Artists, Politicians fire back at Press, Support Brown

South African men are showing their support for the talented singer, Chris Brown, by staging dance offs and lip syncing parades all around the country.

BUSINESS

Survey: 42% of Africans Think the Internet is a Place

Abass Haruna sent a letter to his eldest son, telling him to “go into the internet, and ask if anyone wants to do some business in Tamale”. At first, the request puzzled Haruna’s young scholar, until the boy figured out that his father believed the internet was a physical location…like a post office or a ‘comm center.’


REGIONAL

Chuck Norris Answers Call, Frees American Hostage

The greatest warrior on the planet, Chuck Norris, has answered the pirates' call to battle and freed Capt. Richard Phillips from the barnacled grasp of the scurvy pirates. Phillips was captured earlier this week in a failed attempt to hijack an American ship ferrying goods to Kenya.

More Featured Stories

Breast Milk was the Deal Breaker: Malawi Courts

Malawi’s lawyers have begun to caution would-be adoptive parents not to expect to hastily adopt anymore “brown, exotic babies” without proof that they can feed those children with sweet foreign breast milk upon government request.

Chris Brown has Relationship Training in Ghana

Chris Brown may have learned how to dance from Michael Jackson, but it was in Ghana that he was schooled in the ways of how to treat a Black woman.

Obama Inauguration to Have Y2K Effect

Barack Obama will be the most magical and mystical president the world has ever seen. He will usher in an unseen era...just like Y2K did 9 years ago!

The 419 Section

The best and worst Nigerian scam letters ever received

CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?

Answer: No, we can't. Times must be really hard if the Russians are doing 419 scams!

ACCEPT WITH GOOD FAITH MY DEAR GOOD FRIEND AND REPLY IMMEDIATELY.

Oh? You only want a copy of my passport and all my personal information so that I can get money from Monaco? How fortunate for me in the post 911 times!

Maize Break Africans in the Diaspora Map

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TOP VIDEO

South African Idol Contestant from Hell

South African Idol Contestant from Hell



REAL NEWS

The Onion News Network

Humanitarian Aid Check “Totally Blown” Before It Arrives

The Onion News Network

Sudan Passes Campaign-Finance Reform

Fox News

Salma Hayek Breastfeeds African Baby on Goodwill Trip

The Onion News Network

Nigeria Elects Black President

Times UK

Champagne, lobster and caviar: Robert Mugabe plans binge in land of hunger



OPINION

Should we legalize weed? - Uhh..YEAH!

The American government has sanctioned and legalized some of the most harmful substances known to man...like cigarettes. Cigs kill more people everyday than car wrecks and murder combined, yet the revenue from cigarette sales go towards building schools, bridges and funding education. It is UNAMERICAN for the government not to exploit the health of minorities for the gain of the rest of the country.
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