Monday, February 08, 2010

BUSINESS

Georgia Woos Immigrants with Cotton Picking Simulator

Civic leaders have begun to woo poor immigrants from West Africa with promises of food, shelter and clothing if they are willing to participate to their Cotton Picking Program in exchange for these items.

BUSINESS

Access to Swiss Bank Accounts Causes Delight, Distress

In C.A.R., the political elite and merchant classes are actually rich enough to afford space boots. In fact, it’s rumored that with the money they have siphoned off from the poor and IMF, they actually DO vacation in space.

SPORTS

Usain Bolt Boosts Yam Consumption, Exportation 185%

When Usain Bolt, the prolific Jamaican sprinter, decimated his opponents on the track in last year’s Beijing Olympics, the world sat up and took notice.

LIFESTYLE

Enugu to Abuja flight

An illiterate woman boarded a plane from Enugu to Abuja in Nigeria. She was booked for an economy class seat.

BUSINESS

Hoteliers Lure Foreigners with Feral Chickens

White people like extreme everything. Extreme soccer, extreme bike riding, extreme-extreme! Now, an African man has devised a way to feed their extreme need by making them hunt for wild chickens.

More Featured Stories

King Ayisoba Promotes Dental Care

From Senegal to Cameroon, 90% of the population has a plethora of misfortunes inhabiting their mouths. Much of the citizenry of these countries have teeth like rakes, harbor gates and sling shots.

MPs Disappointed. “Obama brought no cheque”

After dozing at the house of parliament during Barack Obama's prolific speech on Africa's future, one minister woke from his slumber, wiped the drool from his mouth and queried "Ad3n? On fa sika?" (Trans: Why? He did not bring money?)

Mills hires Translator for Historic Obama Visit

After much fretting about how best not to disgrace the country with his poor grammar skills, President Atta Mills has devised a brilliant strategy. He will be hiring a translator in anticipation of Barak Obama’s historic visit to Ghana.

CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?

Answer: No, we can't. Times must be really hard if the Russians are doing 419 scams!

ACCEPT WITH GOOD FAITH MY DEAR GOOD FRIEND AND REPLY IMMEDIATELY.

Oh? You only want a copy of my passport and all my personal information so that I can get money from Monaco? How fortunate for me in the post 911 times!

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